But What if I’m Too Old To Get Pregnant?

I was watching last night’s “The Late Show” with Stephen Colbert. I am a longtime fan, and last night’s monologue was a little bit of wonderful. He had one of his writers, Ariel Dumont, an actual woman, appear on stage with him, to skewer the CDC’s warning for women against EVER consuming alchohol, due to the risk of pregnancy or contracting an STD. I had no idea that the lifestyle I’ve enjoyed for so many years was so dangerous. Why isn’t this on a warning label, like with cigarettes? I could get preggo from pinot? Chlamydia from cabernet? Syphilis from sauvignon? Given my age, & monogamy, this is indeed distressing news.